Before my husband left for work this morning, he casually asked if I was already ready to be a new mom again. “Not yet completely”, I said.
I shared how I excited I am with the arrival of our new joy on the blog last night, but I guess I am being a bit emotional right now knowing that it’s going to be so soon (hormones,maybe?). I am concerned about being a mom with two children to love.
“How can I equally divide my love to both of my children so that one does not feel ‘less loved’ than the other?” I asked him back.
He was in a hurry, and I guess he wasn’t expecting neither my answer nor my question, but my husband always has his simple and practical wisdom ready: “You don’t have to divide your love. Love them both, wholly.” He said.
To be honest, I am sometimes anxious as to how Kyle would react when the new baby is finally out. He is so used to be the only kid in the house for five years thus everyone’s attention goes to him. He has been our only darling! What will he feel when he sees his sibling at home?
Are we preparing our first-born enough to be a brother? We’ve been involving the boy a lot in this pregnancy so he would already start to feel that he is “kuya” already. We tag him along in my prenatal check-ups, we encourage him to talk to the baby, we have him feel the little one’s kicks in the tummy…and so on. But one time he said, “Mom, when ading (younger sibling) is out, I won’t be your baby anymore, diba?” I told him that nothing will change, it’s just that another angel is coming that will also bring more joy to our growing family.
It’s embarrassing to admit that I sometimes worry if I wouldn’t be able to love our little darling on the way as much as I love Kyle. With Kyle, my heart is so whole already… my love even overflows! How can I try to fit in another love?
Thankfully, my husband’s statement is now etched in my mind and heart: “You don’t have to divide your love. Love them both, wholly.”
What he said means a lot (it somehow reminds me of the saying, ‘love does not divide, it multiplies’). True, I need not divide my love, nor try to fit in another love. I have another little beautiful person to love wholly who will soon blossom from that love that pours from my heart.
Well I guess I have to pray harder… for God to always remind me that whenever I pour out love, it readily replenishes a million times more and that it will never be consumed! That love does not divide, it multiplies so I could always love in full!