His name is Dane. Aside from being a good soul, he also has a the thumb for gardening. He is assigned to maintain our small garden at home, and to rearrange our landscape. Every day, my little boy would spend his mornings with him in the small yard. He calls him Kuya (big brother). As days passed, their time together in the garden was extended in the living room, and Kuya Dane shared his artsy side with the boy. They would draw and draw each day, even creating cards for each other. Their time spent together became longer and longer.
Last night, my brother invited Kuya Dane to his home for a few days. Hearing that Dane is leaving, my son was so upset. When Dane was about to go, he kept his bag and expressed that he did not want him go. When Dane finally left, I’ve never seen my little boy’s eyes as mad.
I had to wait for my boy to calm down. I allowed him to throw his emotions. And when I knew he was ready, I processed him. What he said moved my heart.
“Why didn’t you want to kuya Dane to go?” I started.
“Because he is my best friend. He looks after me here at mama’s house. Who’s going to play with me now?” My boy responded.
In a very soft voice I replied, “Mommy, mommy’s here anyway…”
My son shook his head and shouted while crying, “But you’re always with Trey!!!!”
I was taken aback. I looked at my boy. He has grown a bit bigger without me even noticing it. His nails need to be trimmed. He needs a haircut, too. Jesus. What was I doing? (I wasn’t giving enough time to my husband last time, and I need to give more time to my son this time. I cannot mess this thing!) I hugged him and explained again that his new baby brother needs my time because he is still so small and I am breastfeeding him. I haven’t been giving him enough time and so I assured my firstborn that we will get to spend more time together again.
“I miss you mommy. I miss our dates. I miss being just you and me.” Kyle cried even harder.
I hugged my firstborn. I knew we have some catching up to do. We need to date again. I need to talk to him. A mommy-to-a-big-brother talk. This time, just us. Just kuya Kyle and Mommy.