You’ve probably seen a mom in a toy store talking to her toddler trying to explain that the child can’t have the toy the he likes yet. During the conversation, the child threw a temper tantrum on the floor insisting that his mom should buy the toy outright. The mom lost her patience and yelled at the child thus creating a “scene” in the place. That scene ended with the mom taking her “walk of shame” out of the toy store followed by, of course, the kid’s deafening cry that made the scene all the more dramatic.
The story above can actually happen to any mom, but with some disciplining techniques, that can actually be prevented. We all don’t want to be on that same lime light, right mommy?
Reeling our active little one can be an arduous task, I admit. My 2-year-old boy often tests my patience when he tries to plug electronic gadgets at home or insists to do the things he likes like not wanting to leave the play ground or dangerously climbing and standing on his trike. But setting his limits now, I know, can actually help prevent bigger problems in the future.
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 1: Be patient.
Yes, as a parent, you need to be Very patient. Kids will surely do things that will test your patience and your parenting skills so you have brace yourself and be as understanding as you can. Never lose your patience because if you do, you’ll end up fighting with your little one which should never be the case. You’ll be sorry later on if you’ve landed your hand on your child just because you lost patience. Guilt will surely haunt you.
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 2: Be a good role model.
Do you want your child to say the magic words such as “please” and “thank you”? Then you should say those words too! Kids say what they hear and follow what they see others are doing. So if you want to instil the values of kindness and respect to your kid, why don’t you model them yourself?
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 3: Be firm and consistent.
If it’s a “no-no” behaviour then you have to be consistent all through out. Is your kid trying to d things that are dangerous? Is he hitting his playmates or getting disrespectful to his yaya? Then look at him in the eye and firmly say “no”. If your child does the same poor behavior the following day, reprimand him again.
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 3: Master the art of conversing to your toddler.
If your toddler does something wrong, “process” him. As you do so, lower your level in a way that he could understand you. For example, if your child throws his toy at you, tell him that you got hurt. Then, ask him how he would feel if his favourite cartoon character would throw a toy on him too. Lead him to the idea that he will also get hurt. Then start processing him by saying that throwing things to any one is not a good behavior because it can hurt . End by asking in a soft voice, “will you throw your things to people again?” (There is no guarantee that he will not do the same mistake because kids do things over and over even if they have promised not to but with constant reminders, they will soon learn the right thing to do.)
When your child misbehaves, send him to the “naughty chair”. You have to be very firm when you send him there. Ignore if he cries because he will surely try to get your attention. When he soon recognizes that it is boring on that chair, he’ll realize that his misbehaviour brought him there as a consequence for his bad behavior.
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 5:Never spank your child.
Landing your hand on your child can actually cause a life-time wound in your relationship. And spanking can also be a predictor of unruly behaviours in the future. In an article in Time Magazine entitled the “The Long-Term Effects of Spanking” by Alice Park, she cited a recent study stating that: “the strongest evidence yet that children’s short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.”
Disciplining a Toddler Secret Number 6: Love and respect your child.
Cuddle your child as often as you can, let him sit on your lap while you read books together, kiss him, hug him and always treat him with love and respect.
As parents, our role is to raise responsible, kind, loving and successful children. Tough isn’t it? But we can do it. Well then, if our children misbehave, let us reprimand them. Quoting from infant expert Magda Gerber, “Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”