Really? I got pregnant that way? That’s what I’ve just said while browsing through some old posts of mine. Now that I am happily looking at my baby as I write this, I could almost forget the immense pain and worry that I had gone through during my pregnancy with him. If not with the stories that I’ve just read which I’ve written at that time, everything that happened is just but a blip in my memory today.
Ahh, those days. The days when my husband and I were rejoicing because we learned that we have a new bundle of joy on the way… but with deep anxiety because I was scheduled for operation on the fourth month of my pregnancy! The days when we walked with silent hearts– joyful and thankful but worried and jaded at the same time .
Once more, I’m inviting you to read along with me as I share the challenges and triumphs of my pregnancy journey. May we start with these favorite posts of mine then?
There is so much heart in this post. I wrote this when I was three months pregnant, barely a week before my surgery. This was when I finally shouted my fear to the mountaintop and decided to surrender everything to the Lord. Worried and tired, it finally came to me that all I needed to do was to simply sit at His feet and rest.
“I felt my tears rolling in the corners of my eyes while I was pushed in stretchers towards the Operating Room.”, I wrote. “I was worried for myself, and my baby.”
In all honesty, I initially didn’t include this list because it reminded me again of the painful details but I decided to because it summarizes the power of collective prayers and the beauty of having strong support that one can find in family, and friends. (A picture of my bittersweet smile after the surgery is in the original post.)
Several weeks after the surgery, it started to sink in that I’ll soon be a mom of two. Concerned about being a mom with two children to love, I shamefully asked my husband: With my firstborn Kyle, my heart is so whole already; my love even overflows! How can I try to fit in another love? My husband’s wisdom gave so much light to the once confused mom that I was.
That moment when I finally, finally embraced a more peaceful pregnancy journey because there were no more cysts that could twist and rupture in my ovaries to fear and that I knew baby was growing safely.
In this post, I slowly unclothed that tint of birthing anxiety that was in me. Remember the time when I asked help from you to help me pray that I’d be able to carry on my delivery with such calmness and grace?
Joyfully and impatiently waiting for baby Trey to arrive at this time. This was also the moment when I said that I shall face birth without fear because I know I wouldn’t handle it all by myself. I carried this line along with me during delivery. “I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (ISAIAH 41:13)
And finally, the delivery of our little champion! At 8:14pm of March 23, 2015, our baby came out. I couldn’t forget that moment when he was finally placed on my arms, that time when I soaked in that happy moment of meeting him at last. And this, I mumbled:
Your presence, son, makes us feel that God is wanting to tell us that we mattered. That there must be something in my heart and in your dad’s that is worth passing down to you and your Kuya. We are immensely proud and honored to have you. He has entrusted us to raise another child. He has given us another beautiful assignment, YOU.
If you’ll have time soon, may I invite you to read these stories?
Have a great day ahead, moms!