Before my husband left for work this morning, he casually asked if I was already ready to be a mom of two. “Not yet completely”, I said.
I shared how I excited I am with the arrival of our new joy on the blog last night, but I guess I am being a bit emotional right now knowing that it’s going to be so soon (hormones,maybe?). I am concerned about being a mom with two children to love.
“How can I equally divide my love to both of my children so that one does not feel ‘less loved’ than the other?” I asked him back.
He was in a hurry, and I guess he wasn’t expecting neither my answer nor my question, but my husband always has his simple and practical wisdom ready: “You don’t have to divide your love. Love them both, wholly.” He said.
To be honest, I am sometimes anxious as to how Kyle would react when the new baby is finally out. He is so used to be the only kid in the house for five years thus everyone’s attention goes to him. He has been our only darling! What will he feel when he sees his sibling at home?
Are we preparing our first-born enough to be a brother? We’ve been involving the boy a lot in this pregnancy so he would already start to feel that he is “kuya” already. We tag him along in my prenatal check-ups, we encourage him to talk to the baby, we have him feel the little one’s kicks in the tummy…and so on. But one time he said, “Mom, when ading (younger sibling) is out, I won’t be your baby anymore, diba?” I told him that nothing will change, it’s just that another angel is coming that will also bring more joy to our growing family.
It’s embarrassing to admit that I sometimes worry if I wouldn’t be able to love our little darling on the way as much as I love Kyle. With Kyle, my heart is so whole already… my love even overflows! How can I try to fit in another love?
Thankfully, my husband’s statement is now etched in my mind and heart: “You don’t have to divide your love. Love them both, wholly.”
What he said means a lot (it somehow reminds me of the saying, ‘love does not divide, it multiplies’). True, I need not divide my love, nor try to fit in another love. I have another little beautiful person to love wholly who will soon blossom from that love that pours from my heart.
Well I guess I have to pray harder… for God to always remind me that whenever I pour out love, it readily replenishes a million times more and that it will never be consumed! That love does not divide, it multiplies so I could always love in full!
I know this is a bit of older post, but I stumbled across, and had to comment! You are not alone, as I know the feeling of wondering how on earth can you possibly love another baby as much as you love that precious little first miracle that came into your life! I am a mother of 4….and my first had just turned 2 when we welcomed the arrival of baby #2. I left for the hospital in tears, having this odd feeling of guilt, like somehow I was about to change his world forever….and maybe not in a good way. He was the first child, first grandchild….the apple of everyone’s eye ;0)
All I can tell you, is that the moment they placed my baby girl….my 2nd precious gift from God in my arms….it was as if my heart didn’t just double, but changed in the most beautiful way imaginable! There was a bit of jealousy after bringing home “baby sister”, as it was quickly realized by out little guy that…”this kid is here to stay?!”. Everything just sort of fell into place, and the joy of watching my little boy “help” with fetching diapers, or just making her laugh, was so precious to watch! These days my oldest 2 are absolute best friends, and amazing at their big brother/big sister roles, and the bonds created are a blessing I couldn’t ever have imagined!
So hang in there…..the transition isn’t always easy, but I promise those worries, and feelings that you certainly couldn’t love another child as you do your little boy, will be a distant memory!
All the best!!
It had been a year since you left this post but I never got the chance to thank you! You are so right! My second child is 1 year old now and the siblings are enjoying their time together! I am also having a blast being a mom to two! Hugs and my sincere gratitude! =)